Let ME Think...

First, greeting. Okay people, greeting!

Hai people who accidentally read my blog, welcome, wilkommen, selamat datang! Saelah.

Oke, sebelumnya, mungkin ada yang nanya, how's my life going.. yah not much (well, how does it sound for "not much"?) I am feeling bad, actually. A damn deep bad. Or even worse, a damn full of hatred deep badness of bad-ass kind of bad feeling. I feel suck with this holly-prickin-days, which i should had love to. Ahuh I know things wont going to be the same as I plan, but at least... i should had make it better. Alright, I was a super idiot for not preparing anything for holidays. Starting from vacation plans, and the most important thing in the whole world, money. OK... forget it.

Huh alright, I am mad with myself, for who I am, for what i am going to be, its just like... unprepared and uh... unsupported (yeah i know esp with my parents). And I dont know, i dont feel like i would go through it all just like a role play in films or books. I know I'm weak. And I hate to be that weak, to be such an innocent pre-adult who never ever understand anything about life. I envy people who had known what they are going to be, with whom and for whom. Why do i think about these shits? Why dont I just lay back and enjoy the holiday? Well, I know i should have doing the second question, but yeah, the future is much closer, right? I am going to college in like 2 years. And of course I have to prepare the whole thing, within 2 years???? It is not a long time, right? And I just want my future to be bright with so much lights on it, and yeah so much happiness with my family and friends. Is it that much to ask for?

So I have discussed this to my parents, and the respond is... negativeness. Hell yeah i still have 2 years to struggle with my own future, right?

See ya, my bright future!